Just went out to have a look to make sure im not talking shit. Pin 86 is connected to ground, 85 to pain beam feed, pin 30 to +ve feed from battery and pin 87 to the spot lights and it works. The spot lights don't come on until I switch main beam on.
I seem to have pin 85 and 86 the other way round to your diagram, but it may be that there is a PD across the coil when main beam is on, resulting in the relay to close is bi-directional, meaning that the current can flow from pin 85 to 86 or visa versa.
This diagram is probably clearer.
http://www.landyzone.co.uk/lz/attachmen ... wiring.jpg" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;